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I was recently delighted to attend my first ball in Bangkok hosted by the New Zealand Society in honour of their national day. The force behind the organisation was Christina and she’d done a spectacular job. It was wonderfully grand and I had a suitably grand dress to match! There are many different nationalities in Bangkok and after the initial ‘where are you from’ conversation we tend to blend together into one ‘ex-pat community’. Until that is it comes to our celebrating. The lamb and great wine were no surprise, however the powerful Maori welcome ceremony, the Ambassadors being called by their first names and the dancing was more of a shock for my British mind.

Let me take that back! The dancing itself wasn’t shocking. Everyone appeared to be having fun and we generally sang along to the same classics. It was when it started. We were all seated, the wine had just been poured, the first course was served and the band began playing. Half way into my smoked salmon I turned around to find the dance floor was packed!

What had suddenly caused people to abandon this wonderful food and rush to the dance floor risking potential indigestion? Well they seemed inspired by the music, eager to flirt with their partners and friends and express themselves. I too was enthused and it wasn’t long before I followed.

When was the last time you were first on the dance floor? When were you so inspired and passionate you just had to go for it? When were you last creative, uninhibited and oblivious to all but your immediate surroundings? When were you last in the ‘flow’ with all your natural energies?

My experience in the UK is even those who aren’t ‘waiting for the alcohol to kick in’ would be afraid to look foolish by being the first on the dance. FEAR, the enemy of creative expression, rules. If the dancing Queens and Kings at this ball were afraid it certainly didn’t show!

How about if you’re holding back from other areas of your life? If this is something you feel inspired and passionate about but you’re holding back, fear will be close by. What are you afraid will happen? Is this really as life threatening as it feels? Could you get some support so you’re not going there alone? What would make the new thing so irresistible that you had to go for it?

Susan Jeffers recommends ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’ and ‘acting as if’ is a common way of masking fear. I also like the saying that ‘courage is not the absence of fear but the mastery of it.’

At the salsa club, the first on the floor may be the best dancers ‘performing’ or they could be eager students practicing. Being a ‘learner’ is an excellent attitude for life. How would it be if you were practising, experimenting, learning and playing in life? Could this take some of the fear out of your adventures? Could it make new actions less risky? Could it propel you onto that dance floor?

Whether it’s the dance floor, new project, new business, new location, new career or the dating scene you’re holding back from, I invite you to be a ‘courageous person in training’. Go for it! Oh and remember to have fun in the process!

(This article first appeared in Soul Sanook Secrets, a monthly enewsletter. To sign up please visit www.soulsanook.com)

Debbie Reeds is an international Life Coach currently based in Bangkok, Thailand. She coaches people who want to bring more happiness and success into their lives. For further information see http://www.soulsanook.com

Copyright 2006 Red Ladder, Inc.

As a Consultant, I attend a lot of networking events, industry association programs, and one-on-one meetings for breakfast, coffee or other food-related events. Whenever I network or attend events, I always tell people that it was worth my time and money if I gained just one creative idea or contact from the experience. This past month I really put that concept to the test by attending numerous networking meetings, including one tele-networking event!

Here are a few nuggets that I picked up as I networked my way through the past month.

1. Be Bold! The Woman’s Club of Minneapolis recently featured motivational speaker Ann Ulrich, who said, “We create our own possibilities for success by boldly creating opportunity from possibility.” According to Ann, combine possibility with perseverance and professionalism and you have your own personalized recipe for success. How do you create your own possibilities? By being bold of course.

2. Think Big. Sandra Wakefield, an advocate of Brilliant Living (her TV program bears that name), is also an advocate of brilliant networking. She recently brought together a group of like-minded women with the intent of connecting them with an organization that could help make their business goals and personal dreams come true. Not only did she inspire these women to think big she inspired them to think about how taking their businesses to the million dollar (or more!) level. Now that’s thinking big.

3. Tell Your Stories. Tom Bengtson, owner, publisher and editor of Northwestern Financial Review, has been in the industry long enough to know what connects a writer to the reader or a speaker to the audience: personal stories. He encouraged me to share my own personal stories in my writing and my speaking engagements. According to Tom, “We learn something about the person who shares their stories, and there is value in that. But the real reason to share your stories is to learn something about yourself.” The message? Sometimes the best lessons in life we teach ourselves.

4. Develop a “kitchen cabinet.” Erin Dady works closely with aspiring women political candidates. A panelist at the recent Joint Dinner of Women’s Professional Associations, Erin shared some advice that highlighted the importance of having a trusted group of advisors on your team that she called, “your kitchen cabinet.” These were the trusted men and women that you surround yourself with around your kitchen table. This powerful network is a key success factor when running for office. It can also be the key to success if you are climbing the corporate ladder (think mentors) or a growing a successful small business (think advisory board). Net, net, regardless of what you call them, no woman should be without the equivalent of a powerful “kitchen cabinet.”

5. Filter Advice. Judge Susan Burke, recent panelist at the Joint Dinner of Women’s Professional Associations, spoke about her recent experience in running for public office. In the early stages, every person she encountered (including her boss, husband and parents) gave her a list of reasons why she shouldn’t run for office. That being the case, what finally compelled her to run for office? “I learned to beware advice from people who have a vested interest in the outcome,” stated Judge Burke. The lesson? Seek advice but ultimately you need to make the final decision.

This past month I was lucky enough to obtain the five great nuggets I shared with you above. To recap: don’t be afraid to be bold, think big, or tell your stories. But during the process, remember to surround yourself with trusted advisors but be sure to filter any advice you receive. Not bad for a month’s worth of networking. Don’t you agree?

Regina Barr is a management consultant and speaker who helps companies develop strategies to attract, develop and retain women leaders. Sign up for her FREE Ezine, Developing People…Inspiring Success at www.RedLadder.com .